Spark

I am not a big fan of Chetan Bhagat. Infact, I still rue the 6-7 hours that I wasted reading 3 of his stupid filmscripts. I have wasted time in far more constructive ways than this. But this is not about his novels, but about that speech of his made during the orientation program at Symbiosis last year. Here it is, posted in a blog.

It was interesting because he talks about this spark in every one's life. I have been thinking about it since the last 5-6 months or so, until I came across his speech few weeks back and got the exact word - spark, that I was looking for. I understood that, I was behaving miserably, not with people around me, but with myself. I was disinterested in many of the things that would generally attract my attention. I knew very well, there was something wrong going on, something very wrong, I am actually not a bitter and miserable person.I am curious, anxious, lazy, stupid and insane at same time. That is what I have always been. But those days, I was becoming passive. Passive to - I do not know what.

Fortunately, I read about this spark within us and it coincided with something that was really important to me. Something that I can term as - Potentially happy moment. And since then, I have been making a conscious effort to bring that spark back. It seems to be somewhat fine now. But with all my experience, I know that its not something that we can create or ignite consciously, you just know when that spark is rekindled. Thats it. However hard you try, you wont figure out when that spark is lost ( as I experienced) and again, it is impossible to figure out when it comes back into your life, as I finding out now. Whats within your grasp is to keep the spark alive. Probably, I was lucky that the spark was rekindled very soon.

Nostalgia

This pic makes me nostalgic whenever I see it nowadays. And I think, it will continue to do so for many more years in the future. Especially now as I travel by locals all alone. I pray everyday that I will not have to take a local anymore after about a year or so. It isn't the same travelling alone. I do not hate travelling alone let me tell you. I actually enjoy it quite a lot.

But, being alone in a local everyday is one thing I have begun to hate. Especially, when there is nobody to wake you up at the destination. When there is no one waiting for you in the compartment when you feel like rushing out and grabbing a Dabeli or a samosa. When there is nobody to hop into the same ' first class ke piche vala dabba' everyday with. When there is no one who will leave your favourite window seat to you. When you are alone on a crowded over-bridge or a platform desperately wanting someone to exchange sick jokes with.

I happened to remember all this last night and could not leave home for the station this morning. Well, I am aware that we have to move on, and that is what all of us have done, moved on indeed. Just that I needed to pour out this stuff somewhere. We know that we were and are good friends. We have never said this to each other and I am very sure, we never will. That has always seemed unnecessary and stupid to us. Now that we have moved on, it was necessary for me to acknowledge this. Any more words here will be absolutely irrelevant.

A Small Update

Excuses for not posting frequently are meant for popular blogs and for bloggers who think that they are running a popular blog. Since, me and my blog fall in neither of the categories, I must state that I am simply lazy and had nothing much to bother you about, and whenever there was something interesting to share, well, I was simply being lazy. Now that I am pretty much occupied and have loads of things to keep me busy, I just can't wait to update this space. In other words, I am being the lazy shit that I am and trying to run away from actual 'work' , pretending to update this so important blog of mine.

I completed my undergrad last month and am waiting to join a decent graduate program of my choice. In the meantime, I am working under the supervision of a scientist in TIFR.For anyone who is remotely interested in research, this place is a paradise. You not only get to interact with like minded people but also get an idea about where you stand in your field of choice. You are made aware of your deficiencies very early, which I think is absolutely necessary. One can attend seminars and talks related to not only his / her field but numerous other scientific subjects as well.The place encourages you to think and simultaneously makes you appreciate the fact that thoughts and imaginations can be woven so beautifully into the fabric of science.

The place is scenic, well maintained and I rate the food very highly. Not only for the cost, but for the hygiene, variety and ambience as well. Here, I can see for myself that I am not the only who can't think logically on empty stomach. Anyways, here are some pics of this exciting place.

Yes, I do get the feeling telling me I am not good enough for the place and that I do not deserve to be here. But that is part of the process I know. If I am here, it means something. For me, it means that I should take as much from the place as possible. Learn, grow, and try to ask the right questions. Develop some scientific aptitude, and more such awe inspiring phrases which I was not unaware of previously. Just that I have always been plain lazy. Damn.

Here are some of your answers.

This is not a justification. I owe none to anybody. This is just an explanation for illinformed asses who keep on asking me the same questions. Not really bothered about repeating the questions. Here are the answers.

1. I did not apply for Master of Science in Biotechnology because I am not interested in pursuing that course. My intention in applying to any university is, first, to secure admission in a course that I want to study, second, to get an admit.

2. I applied to PhD courses because most of the departments encourage PhD applications. They look for long term commitment. If you feel that one cannot obtain PhD admissions without Masters, if you feel that my profile was not good enough then you are exactly the illinformed ass to whom I am addressing. Go and check out admission trends and statistics.

3. Professional Science Masters ? This will keep an option open for industrial positions ? Well, PSM is a joke for anyone inclined towards biological sciences.As an illinformed ass, you will not get the joke. So I am leaving that out. And yes, you are right this time. I am biased towards research oriented courses.

4. Counselors charge money to do the kind of work anyone past secondary school could do. And, by the way, they are not aware of the kind of research being carried out in the universities, not even in their pet universities. Also, they have the audacity of asking you to apply for MS in Biotechnology, so that you get an admit. Ape Shit.

5. Yes, I will be re-applying for PhD programs again.

6. No, I was not unlucky this time. I never run out of luck.

For people residing ' Off Pokhran Road No. II '

This place, Hiranandani Meadows, is getting shittier by the day. It was wonderful when it started. The 'crowd' was less and whatever crowd there was, it was not irritating. Nowadays, it seems to be the only destination in Thane. It has become a haven for posers and couples who do not consider themselves cheap enough to hang around near any of the lakes. More disgusting than the number of cars are those which are blasting music from the boom boxes. Bikers doing all sort of shitty stunts and cars screeching their brakes seems awful when you want to sit down and chat. The fact that I am really bugged by the deterioration of this place is because it is a 5 minute walk from my home. We used to hang around here quite often and are have witnessed the place going down the drain first hand.

The garden behind the blocks is still a beautiful place. But then it too has become a makeout place for couples since the previous year and a half. In the months following the board exams you will find teeny meeny youngsters showing off some borrowed attitude. And yes, you can find someone rolling joints in the food court. Now, I am not a moral police but I am disgusted because this was a great place in our locality, not only for people like me, but also for people our parent's age and senior citizens. Mind you, there are some great place to eat out so you will witness lots of families here in the weekend. They surely, like me, are worried about what the place has come to be.

Anyways, my intention is to let the people residing 'off pokhran road number II' know that there are some superb places and things to do nearby. You might just want to tweak your jogging or walking routes in this case. I am not sure whether many of you are aware of the two light trekking routes that are very near to our homes. Both of these go into the Sanjay Gandhi National Park that surround our area.

The first one is beyond the Yeoor bus stop. Walk up to the dead end and you will reach an abandoned watch cabin. There will be signs warning you about the dangers, but believe me there aren't any apart from mosquitoes. This route comes to life during the rains but it is a risky one too during those times. Adventurous ones like me will not bother. There is a waterfall ahead in the route which is visible only during the rains. I should warn you of the mudslides that occur during the rains and trekking parties getting stuck until rescued. The walk up to the Yeoor bus stop from Upvan Lake is a regular jogging and walking track for people from Neelkanth, Raunak Park and surrounding residential localities. But I doubt how many of them have ventured ahead just for fun and curiosity. This track is for nature enthusiast and for doing something different on a weekend.

The second one is freaking awesome. Walk straight though Gladys Alavares road passing Lok Puram, Meadows, Eden Woods, D-mart and you will find yourself facing Happy Valley. Take the left turn that takes you to Tikuji-ni-vadi. Walk straight ahead up the slope, passing Tikuji-ni-vadi and there lies another entrance to the Sanjay Gandhi National Park, this one strangely named nature interpretation Center. Entry before 0800 hours is free and I guess you may be charged peanuts after the said time. The nature trail here is more of a hike. Probably 40-45 minutes of moderate pace and you will reach the summit. This ,by no means, is a regular walking track, in some places you will find yourself walking on the edge with a steep fall on your right. But it is not one bit dangerous. Only, I guess, the route is closed during the monsoon. Apart from that, it is very much available for rest of the year.The view of the city, especially our area, is simply breathtaking. You can see the early morning mist covering the city. The towers of Hiranandani Estate and Meadows can be seen poking their dome out from the mist. You can spend time looking out for your building from the summit, or just sit and listen to the birds. It is a big piece of land, with crest and troughs. You will also find some farms that belong to the tribals. On the side opposite to the city, the national park extends deeper. You will enjoy the panoramic view of these hills accompanied by sprawling forests. These are a couple of online articles I found regarding this 'nature interpretation center'.Nature Interpration Centre looks to get a major facelift. Yeoor's the next ecotourism spot.

Sometimes you may spot a leopard pug mark as there are quite a few in this national park. But they are not known to come out in daylight. Also, I am not of the opinion of you venturing in any of the two places at night. On the other hand, the hill top is a popular camping Site.Generally these campers go in groups. Personally, I would like to camp here as many of us are aware about how lame these leopards in this national park are. The tribal families are also staying here since ages, they own cattle and stuff. But the leopards are posing to be a threat only since the last decade as they leave the deeper jungles due to scarcity of preys. This is not a deterring factor to the joggers who visit the second nature trail on a regular basis. I agree that both these places are not a place to hang around or spend a quite evening prior to dinner, but my intentions were to urge you to go out there just once and have a look yourself. May be you will start hating Meadows more but you will surely appreciate the fact that there are so many beautiful places so near to your homes. Probably it is time you boast about the fact that Mumbai, being a megapolis, surrounds a national park and that you can peek into it every morning.

Thanks.

I have come to believe that irrespective of how bad the situation is, you always have people to support or help you. And what overwhelms me is the fact that you find someone beside you whom you may not have expected to be there. You then get the feeling that the situation is not as bad as it seems to be. Probably it deepens your belief in almighty. I am not at all good in explaining such stuff, and I am not sure what the hell I am blabbering out here. I am just thankful to some people. I hope I am as helpful and as loving as people have been towards me. As I have pointed out so many times, I consider myself to be very lucky, and the credit for this, I suppose, goes to people around me. I am very sure that I may not have thanked you enough. But, your presence has been thankless. Irrespective of where I stand and what I do, I will always be there for you.

To Do.

Things I will do after I get out of this vacuum.

Wake up early. See the sunrise. Post something on the blog. Buy an external Hard Disk. Watch Simpsons non stop. Finish up a novel or two. Walk up to the lake. Sit by the lake. Go for a movie alone. Visit School.Sit in Gopal Van, Sit beside the old canteen ground, Sit on the steps beside the main ground, Sit under the tree facing the volleyball courts. Visit School again. Trip to CST for buying novels. Walk up to Marine Drive, sit there. Pop Tates. Cook Chicken. Go Shopping. Baskin n Robbins. Buy Molecular Biology of the Cell by Alberts. Eat more Snickers. Gorge on Paneer. See the sunrise again. Arrange the book shelf. Talk more at home. Make someone smile. Smile more. Laugh out loud. May be cry. Laugh again.