The crazy instant

There are moments which just get registered into your system. However hard you try, you can't get rid of them. Some of them ,you are really fond of, and will continue to cherish all your life. And for some, you no longer need them. But there are some moments, which can't be judged. Let me be more elaborate. The moments that I am speaking of, may be some happenings, some event, some image, few seconds in your life,a feeling, an impulse, the smaller things that we tend to ignore but the things that slowly mould us into what we actually are. Out of these, there are some moments, or let me call them instants, that can't be judged. Good or bad. Happy or sad. Success or defeat. They are just there. Out of no where dropped on you, or sometimes a result of meticulous planning. Feeling as if you are the most lonely person in the world, for a few seconds, while chitchatting with a group of friends in a cafe. Is this possible ? One such crazy instant.

When your mom wants you to call her up when leaving college, so that she can know whether you will have lunch at home, you dismiss it in one corner of your mind, thinking it to be yet another job to be done but low on your priority list for the day. So invariably you forget to call her up at the right time. Whenever it strikes you at the right time, you always decide to postpone the call. It is not that important, you say. You will call her up when you get off the train, but that may sometimes be too late. But you know that your lunch will be ready, irrespective of when you call. Even if you forget to inform her, you can always say that you have had ' some stuff ' in the canteen or cafe, so you will not have lunch.

But on the day when the samosa absolutely sucked at the cafe, and you have had the kind of breakfast that you will never ask your mom to serve you ever in your life, you want to call up your mom.You want to tell her that you will be home in about one and half hours and that you will definitely eat. You want to let her know that you are leaving college now, just to show that you are calling up the right time. You want to tell her that you were not more hungry than today in the past one year, and you can't recollect when was the last time you were this hungry. She understands that you have gone crazy and asks you what you will eat. No roti, no rice, you ask for brown bread sandwiches. You want to pay your bill and leave the cafe as soon as possible.

It takes more than three seconds for the realization to set in. You got to go back home and cook your own food.Mom is away on the other side of the country, and you can't be there in the next one and half hour. You are alone amidst all.You will be alone when you get back home and you will have a lonely dinner.It is impossible to judge those few seconds of your life that will never leave your system.It is definitely not the best feeling in the world. But then you do not hate that feeling as well. It signifies how much you miss your loved ones.Those few seconds ,when you realized it is no use calling up your mom, seemed to be an eternity. You stop reaching for your cell phone and smile at your friend who has just cracked the most dumb joke of the day. You order another of the same stupid brown samosa.

Free kick

Mayukh : You should do what you love doing, and not what everybody does. You should go to the Himalayas for a year, just to revitalize.

Orco :Dude gimme a break. Nowadays all are going to the Himalayas to revitalize.

I love my luck

I used to be alone and the destination was always far. After a couple of days, I stopped thinking about having some company. It's only now that I feel it was one of the top fifty 'most stupid things' I have ever done. To stop cribbing for some company at that time. So by the time I saw them, I had gotten used to travelling alone. Rains continued filling up the days and lab became the most important thing for me.

We used to arrive and leave by the same train and we took the same bus twice a day. They had an effect on me from day one. The first day I saw them, we were on the bus, the tyre got punctured. I still can't believe that was the first day. I stepped ahead towards them, wanting to share an auto with them to the institute. Suddenly it occurred to me that it was only yesterday I had juiced up my music player. It meant I could not afford to be in a hurry. Pink Floyd needs time.

The more I saw them, the more I wanted to be with them. Something pulled me back, it always does, at the right moments and sometimes at those moments when I shouldn't be pulled back.They were the best, I would have said this on the first day itself. They were inviting, only one of their kind. Unparalleled.Questioning.Not bothered.Aloof. I had to be with them. But why was I pulled back? For me it was a battle. The laboratory had roped me in their side. I was given a choice. As it has always been with me, I choose. I chose the lab and could not abandon it in the middle of it. After the days' fight ended, I prepared for the forthcoming fight at dawn. It left me no time. I was enjoying it. The joy was enough to keep me in the fight. The amount of grey matter being utilized, gave me a high. For the time being, they took a back seat. I did not ignore them though, their effect was long lasting, omnipresent, and ignoring them was a choice not left to me.

They were punctual. I was never in a hurry, did not even bother about bus timings. If the bus left before it's normal time, I waited. If my train was late, I waited for 20 minutes for the next bus. This was not the case with them. They left in an auto. I could have shared an auto with them, but I was not in a hurry. One day, they stayed back. Did not go for an auto. Waited. Looking towards me. It was an invitation I guess. Half a minute, one and half, five minutes , ten. They were questioning indeed, but they were not bothered. They got cruel in an instant, they left looking towards me with pity. Now I missed them. I had missed my chance to be them. More than being with them, I wanted to look deep into them. Unravel their mystery, what made them the way they were. Piercing. Deep. Mesmerizing. They were the most beautiful pair of eyes I had ever seen.

Next day, we boarded the same bus. I had made a choice the day before, I had missed my chance.Nothing was different. Same bus, same conductor, similar co passengers as it had been for the past 50 days. But sameness plays an important part in glorifying what is something different.One should respect the routine, the sameness in order to rejoice the difference. And what a difference it was. Heavens poured. She did not have an umbrella with her.Oh my god ! I was dreaming about this just a while ago. She asked whether I can take her in my umbrella. That was my last day at the institute. I love my luck.